“fake it until you become it” – Amy Cuddy
Contrary to popular belief, people are not just born with a set amount of confidence at birth.
If you are looking to be more confident or improve your self-esteem, this will no doubt be fantastic news to you!
However – confidence is something that must be worked at.
It will not just appear overnight, and will likely take a few months of hard work.
Luckily in the meantime – you can fake confidence!
Faking it should be an integral part of your strategy to become the most confident version of yourself that you can imagine.
It is one of the most effective ways that I actually regained my confidence after being depressed.
Whether you need to fake it for a social event, business meeting or if it is part of your plan for self improvement, use the tips below to start appearing confident today.
Easy Ways to Fake Confidence
1. CHECK YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
Body language is the most giveaway sign of if someone is confident or not.
Think about it for a minute.
You see someone sitting down, arms crossed, legs crossed, biting their nails, looking at the ground, afraid to take up too much space or being in anyone’s way – what do you think this says about them?
You can tell instantly that this person is not someone who is brimming with confidence.
Here are some easy body language rules to follow to look confident
- Try to maintain eye contact (not a creepy amount)
- Don’t fidget
- Find a relaxed standing pose you feel comfortable in
- Don’t bite your nails
- Walk tall with shoulders back
- Keep your chin up
2. TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR APPEARANCE
If it makes you feel more attractive, then wear some makeup.
Sadly we live in a society where this is important. If I go out without any makeup on (society can’t dictate how I live ha) I instantly feel less attractive than everyone else who is wearing makeup.
We feel our best when we look our best.
You have probably noticed yourself how much confident you feel after putting on makeup and having your hair done.
Not only do you think you will look better to others, but the confidence you have in yourself also shines through.
People can see that you have self worth and take the time to look after yourself, as you have taken the time to look presentable.
This also applies to the clothes you choose to wear. As much as I love tracksuit bottoms (sweatpants….), sadly I know that I am not looking my best in them. When you dress well, people can see that you have taken care choosing what you wear and have taken the time to look after yourself.
3. SPEAK SLOWLY
I’m not saying like sloth in Zootropolis slow…… but just don’t rush your words.
You might be someone who always speaks really fast in conversations as you don’t want to waste anyone’s time with your “unimportant” words.
This can definitely come across in a conversation and is noticeable to others. This then leads the other person to subconsciously think, “if you don’t even care about what you are saying, then why should I?!”
Instead, try speaking a little bit more slowly and clearly.
This will send the signal that you care about what you are saying and in turn others will regard it as more important.
4. DO SOME POWER POSES
In her TED Talk, Amy Cuddy proves the effect that doing power poses can have on our confidence.
Basically she proves that what we do with our body can drastically change how confident the mind feels!
Do some power poses before leaving the house (or in the washrooms at work before a meeting…).
Definitely worth a watch if you haven’t seen it already
5. PREPARE CONVERSATION
If you are not yet a confident person, you will probably have experienced some social anxiety.
Social Anxiety can be terrifying; worrying that people are going to ‘find out’ any minute that you are actually boring or stupid.
I was always scared that people would realise I had a gap in my knowledge and would therefore think I’m stupid. I minimised this threat by reading the news for 10 minutes before I met them, to make sure I was up to date with all the news and current affairs.
Despite all my planning, there may still be times I have no idea what someone is talking about, or I feel like I have nothing to add to the conversation.
To combat this, I just became comfortable with saying ‘no I haven’t heard actually’ or ‘I don’t know’ in conversations.
As long as you say it calmly and with a smile, you will look confident and the conversation will move on.
Spend some time working out what your biggest social anxiety fear is, then come up with some phrases so you are equipped should the situation arise!
Try to talk about subjects which you know well and which you have an interest in. Enthusiasm often comes across as confidence.
If you don’t know much about the conversation topic, don’t panic. Just ask some questions! Many people love talking, especially about the areas which they are knowledgeable in. They will be more than happy to share their information and experiences with you.
7. VISUALISE A CONFIDENT YOU
Visualisation is a very powerful tool.
Spend some time imagining the most confident version of yourself.
Visualise yourself as you want to be. This could be achieving a goal, being social at parties or just walking around with your head held high.
Doing this exercise daily will help you ‘fake’ and ‘become’ confident (thanks Amy).
8. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS TO FAKE CONFIDENCE
These Positive Affirmations for confidence are a great tool for when you need a quick boost.
Whether you need some instant confidence, motivation or self esteem, they can give you that boost in just a few minutes a day.
9. ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS
Sometimes it can feel rather unnatural for us to accept compliments.
However, this is something to avoid as it sends signals to yourself and to others that you do not value yourself, as you appear to not agree with the positive statement they said.
Next time you receive a compliment, try saying ‘thank you’ instead of just brushing it off.
This reinforcing positive self talk will help you absorb all the good things about yourself, thus improving your confidence.
10. LAUGH AT YOURSELF
You know the type – the kind of person that takes something the wrong way then spends the rest of the night either enraged at everyone or quietly sulking in the corner.
In doing this, that person has revealed their insecurity. They are so fragile that they let the smallest things knocks their self-esteem.
Being able to laugh at yourself signals that you are confident enough to let small things slide and not let the comments of others affect your inner self and identity.
11. THINK – WHAT WOULD A CONFIDENT PERSON DO?
When in doubt, I just think – how would a confident person act in this situation?
Keeping this in the forefront of my mind helps me decide how to act when I am unsure.
For example, if a complete stranger is rude to me in a shop and my self worth starts to crumble, I stop myself and question what someone else would do in this situation.
A confident person would not stop to think about this exchange for a second, let alone the days I would spend worrying about it.
Remember this little trick the next time you want to appear confident.
I hope these easy ways to fake confidence have helped you!
Check out my other ways to build confidence and raise self worth through positive affirmations and TED talks.